WARNING: This post is appropriate for adults only
Are you wondering how Muslim couples make their marriage fun? Having a good marital relationship defines your life in many ways. Marriage consists of 4 major aspects: trust, respect, accountability, and intimacy. If you search the Internet for marriage tips, you will find many. However, in this post, I will give you some practical tips that I found to be very helpful in keeping your marriage fun. I have been married for 5 years now, and I realized that marriage is work, not a thing that just happens. I used to read a lot about marriage. Reading psychological as well as Islamic books and articles, listening to talks of famous marriage consultants, and my own experience led me to write this article. This article is directed to both men and women in general. Give these 6 tips a try, and trust me, you will not regret it.
- Have intercourse – Plan it out…
if you happen to not find the time for it. There is a reason why this is the first thing to be mentioned. It is very easy at the beginning of the marriage to consummate marriage the way we should. However, as time passes on and possibly children come, this important part of any marriage tends to be forgotten. Having sex at least two times a week is a good starting point. Have some specific days for it and make sure to stick to the plan. As silly as it may sound, planning helps keep your marriage fresh. You may even happen to see that you do not need that plan anymore at some point.
2. Play With Your Spouse and Make a Game Out of Daily Tasks
Try to make a game out of every mundane daily task you have got to accomplish like cleaning, laundry… For instance, when both of you are at home you may play rock paper scissors and the loser gets to change the nappy. Here is the list of games you may incorporate into your daily life with your spouse.
Reported by al-Qarrab
On the authority of Abu ad-Darda’, may Allah Almighty shower His favors on him, who narrates from The Holy Prophet, peace and blessings from Allah Almighty be upon him, who said,
“All games are idle play but three things :
the riding of horses,
the casting of arrows,
and a man playing with his wife ;
And of these the most beloved to me is the casting of arrows.”
Here is the example of games you can try playing with your spouse:
- rock paper scissors for deciding who gets to do what (who changes the nappy),
- which donut do you get to eat close your eyes and tell me the column and the row
- if I do this, I win a massage if I lose …
- leave some of your sexy items or love messages in his car so he can see them in the morning when headed to work
- pranks (be very cautious of this one), not all the pranks are okay -for example, pretending to be cheating on my wife to see her reaction is not a prank you want to do, instead, you can make a mess while your spouse is cleaning, or use a water weapon when not expected.
Use your imagination and be as creative as possible. You can try to incorporate your children as well.
3. Find a Common Hobby and Do it Weekly!
Try finding two common hobbies. One to be easily done at home (puzzles, chess (an issue of dispute but I believe it is halal…), and the other one that can be done outside (riding horse, archery, swimming, traveling…)
4. Be a Generous Couple
Set a date for charity and do it with your children if you have them. This will increase the sense of value in your marriage, which will motivate you and positively impact you and your relationship. Generous people are fun people to be around and positivity spreads from such people. Be one of them. You will not regret it.
God says: “Say: Truly, my Lord enlarges the provision for whom He wills of His slaves, and also restricts it) for him, and whatsoever you spend of anything (in God’s Cause), He will replace it. And He is the Best of providers.” (Saba, 34: 39)
Abu Huraira reported: The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “The generous one is near to Allah, near to Paradise, near to the people, and far from the Hellfire. The miserly one is far from Allah, far from Paradise, far from the people, and near to the Hellfire. An ignorant generous person is more beloved to Allah Almighty than a stingy scholar.”
Source: Sunan al-Tirmidhī 1961
Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Al-Suyuti
5. Surprise Each Other With Gifts and Celebrate Together
Pick a date for yourself (your spouse should not know it) to surprise your spouse from time to time when they are not expecting. A bouquet for a wife or a favorite Starbucks drink for your husband occasionally will make your love grow for each other more and more.
To make your marriage fun, you will have to get the marriage foundations sorted out first. Having fun with no trust in between you will take your marriage nowhere far. There are some practical ways to build your marriage strong and stable.
What do you do with your spouse that makes your marriage fun and fresh? Write them down below. Thank you for stopping by!