Many parents often say their top priority is keeping their kids happy. While I understand the intention behind this, I must respectfully disagree. I don’t believe our primary responsibility should be to ensure their happiness at all costs.
For example, when my child wants to jump from a high height, I may need to stop them, even if it means making them upset. While it might not make them happy in the moment, ensuring their safety is far more important.
Removing a chocolate bar away from them will not make them necessarily happy either. However, it will keep their health and overall mood safe. 😃
I strive to make my kids happy and content, but I know it’s not realistic nor fair to keep them that way all the time. Why not fair? Because, their happiness may come at the cost of someone else’s misery and it is not fair. My goal is to raise children that will be just and compassionate regardless of how they feel and if it suits their interests.
Their well-being, particularly their safety, is my top priority. Though they might not always understand this now clearly, I trust that they will one day. I know better than them about what’s good and bad for them, and ultimately, they’ll come to see the wisdom of these choices inshAllah.
SubhanaAllah! Writing this made me realize the following verse even better:
“But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah knows, while you know not.”
The Holy Qur’an 2:216
Having kids makes you think of this life in a different way. Allah has given us the authority over them and He made them dependable on us. We know better than our kids, while Allah knows better what is good or bad for us! He gave us kids to understand His wisdom and His mercy. That is why sometimes we do not get what we think will make us happy. He knows best. And we do not. SubhAllah!
Take, for instance, sending them to kindergarten. I find it unsafe and risky to leave them with strangers, so I decided to leave my “independent woman delusional dream” behind and prioritize spending time with my children. It wasn’t an easy choice because I was raised to become a working woman.
Ironically, despite years of dedicated study and countless exams, I now find myself learning essential life skills like cooking, homemaking, and raising kids through books – skills I somehow never acquired during my formal education. What is more important than all this?! Anyways…
With love,
Sejla
